Making History Relevant to Story without Slowing the Pace

By Tori Eldridge

(Includes an Excerpt from Hawai‘i Rage)

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I write and enjoy reading page-turning fiction. So I cannot afford to slow down the pace, no matter how much character development, cultural information, or history I include. The key for me is to choose the right moment to share relevant facts that will stick with the readers. The tricky part is how.

I’m one of those authors who begins every new project with a place and sometimes a topic or community I want to explore. I dive into research, regardless of how familiar the location or topic is to me. It is during this process that I discover my characters, and a hint of a story appears. Although I’ve been writing contemporary fiction, my last four novels have also entwined historical timelines and facts. But since I don’t want to give a history lesson, I pick and choose what I share.

I rely on two techniques to weave in pertinent information that won’t put my readers to sleep. 

The first is to create a family genealogy that is interwoven with the historical background I want to share.

I did this in The Ninja’s Oath by tying the ancestry of Lily Wong’s “uncle” Lee Chang—whose grand-niece she would help rescue—to the history of Shanghai. This connection to place became so significant that it inspired the thriller plot of the book.

I created an even more intricate genealogy for Ranger Makalani Pahukula’s family in Kaua‘i Storm, beginning with Makalani’s great-grandmother Punahele and her ten children. The story’s drama and mystery emerged from the cultural differences of intermarrying and depleting fractions of Native Hawaiian blood each generation had.

In Hawai‘i Rage—a contemporary Hawaiian western and family drama mystery—the ancestry of Hiapo Ranch began with the son of an early Mexican vaqueros King Kamehameha III bought over from Alta California to teach his people how to ride. I was able to include a lot of this fascinating Hawaiian cowboy history because it was woven into Hiapo ancestry and pertained to my plot. In this way, the history moved the story forward and added character depth.

My second technique is to drop relevant information at a moment in my story when it will stick in the reader’s mind.

With a book as richly entwined with history and culture as Hawai‘i Rage, it was especially important not to dump exposition or overload my readers with facts. My primary goal, after all, is to entertain. That said, my protagonist just took a new position as an interpretive ranger at Pu‘u Koholā Heiau National Historic site that King Kamehameha I was instructed to build to help him unite the Hawaiian Kingdom. Readers are going to be interested in learning a bit about that history. Not all. And only the parts that are relevant to my story, especially if the information I share helps my protagonist solve the mystery in my book.

The following excerpt exemplifies what I mean. In this scene, Makalani is plagued by a conversation she overheard while trying to study the historical materials her supervisory ranger has assigned her to read. Makalani is surprised to find clues to her mystery in the heiau’s treacherous past.

Why else I do what I do?

Makalani had stared at the ceiling, unable to sleep.

What did you mean, Malu? What did you mean?

His words refused to wash away even as the evening rainstorm pounded her roof. And when she rolled out of bed in the morning, she found them stuck in her sleep-deprived mind like sticks in the mud.

Why did you say that? What did you mean?

The conundrum followed her to work. In Pidgin English, locals frequently used the present tense even when they referred to something in past. When Malu had said, “Why else I do what I do?” was he reminding Louie of something he was doing now or something he had done before?

Like kill Larry Hiapo so Kupunakāne could put Louie in charge.

The treachery was echoed in the story she was reading, about how Kamehameha’s trusted military adviser and uncle murdered Kamehameha’s rival cousin in Kawaihae Bay—the same bay where Hiapo’s stepfather was killed swimming a steer to a boat. Makalani dropped her head into her palms as past and present muddled into a convoluted mess.

“Need a break from reading?” Ranger Akaka asked from the doorway.

“Yes!”

He laughed. “Come on. We can talk while we walk.”

She glanced down the hall for her supervisor. “Won’t Ranger Machado mind?”

Ranger Akaka smiled. “He’s on Maui today.”

The warmth of the midday sun eased the tension from Makalani’s shoulders as they walked along the visitors’ path. The stone heiau stood on the mauka side of the flat, barren land, muddy now because of the previous night’s rain. The lava platform was huge, over two hundred feet wide and twenty feet high. She had never seen one this large or with multiple tiers.

“How did they actually use it?”

“Good question.” Ranger Akaka said. “The kahuna or ali‘i—King Kamehameha I was both—would perform religious ceremonies or hold political meetings on this space. The attendees would sit on the lower two levels according to their standing in the community. Structures were sometimes built on the top level to offer shade for chiefs and advisers. Pu‘ukoholā’s size reflects its importance.”

He gestured toward the ocean. “When the visiting chiefs and their entourages would sail their outriggers into this bay, one of Kamehameha’s top warriors would throw a spear at the chief. If he caught the spear it meant he had enough mana—divine power and authority—to proceed.”

Makalani thought about the treacherous bit of history she had been reading that morning. “Was that how Kamehameha’s uncle killed his rival cousin?”

“No. Instead of throwing the spear, Keʻeaumoku opened his arms for a hug. Although the rival cousin knew Kamehameha would kill him as a sacrifice for the heiau, he had come to save his people from war.”

“Then why murder him?”

“Kamehameha wanted to talk with his cousin first. Keʻeaumoku feared the rival would deter the king from his destiny, so he and his men slaughtered all but one. But the treachery happened on both sides. Although the cousin had come willingly, he had mutilated his body to taint the sacrifice. One version of this story says the rival chief had even decided to live and planned to assassinate Kamehameha when they met.”

“So Keʻeaumoku acted without Kamehameha’s knowledge?”

“There are many versions of this story, but the one I believe makes Keʻeaumoku seem like the General Patton of the Pacific and a mafia hitman rolled into one.”

Makalani stared down at the beach, envisioning the multilayered treachery at play. In many ways, it reminded her of the Hiapo family today.

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Tori Eldridge is the author of Kaua‘i Storm, the Lily Wong ninja thrillers, and Dance Among the Flames. Born in Honolulu—of Hawaiian, Chinese, and Norwegian descent—Tori graduated from Punahou School with classmate Barack Obama before performing as an actress, singer, and dancer on Broadway, television, and film, and earning a fifth-degree black belt in To-Shin Do ninja martial arts. Her literary works have garnered Anthony, Lefty, and Macavity Award nominations and the 2021 Crimson Scribe for Best Book of the Year. Tori lives in Portland, Oregon, with her husband, near her precious mo‘opuna (grandchildren), where she narrated the audiobooks for Hawai‘i Rage and other Ranger Makalani Pahukula mysteries. For more information about Tori, her book club extras, and her reading ‘ohana, visit www.torieldridge.com.

Literary Alchemy: Ingredients of the Story – Conflict

A series designed to elevate your skills and empower you to write like a pro.

By Chrissy Hicks

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Since April is tornado season in Tennessee, it seemed a suitable time to examine this essential element of storytelling. Conflict is the struggle between opposing forces. We encounter this through mental battles and external forces.

Why use Conflict?

• A story without conflict is boring. Imagine if Yossarian never left the hospital in Joseph Heller’s Catch-22? For one, we wouldn’t have the classic novel that became a popular catchphrase. More importantly, it’d be a giant yawn. Who wants to read a story where nothing happens?

• Escalate tension and keep the reader on the edge of their seat. The type of conflict—its level of intensity—depends on genre. In literary fiction, internal struggles are often emphasized over external challenges, while in thrillers, although internal dilemmas are important, external conflict often takes center stage. Consider TJ Newman’s thriller, Falling, in which a pilot is given an impossible choice: crash his plane, killing hundreds, or witness the murder of his kidnapped family.

• Provide character insight. Internal conflict creates good use of interiority and helps us relate to characters. External conflict causes people to react, and these reactions show us their character and personality. In Michael Rigg’s Voices of the Elysian Fields, Jonathan Gray, a deputy coroner, struggles with grief over the traumatic loss of his child and anger at a broken, bureaucratic system (internal struggles), and fights through obstacles as he investigates connected events that reveals dark secrets within the city’s elite—people who will do anything to stop him (external battles).

• Art imitates life, and life is hard, complex, challenging, and conflicted. Simply put, conflict reflects real life. It’s intertwined with human experience. Not a day goes by without some sort of obstacle or difficulty, whether we like it or not. In my short story Baby’s Breath, a pregnant woman struggles to cope with an eating disorder while carrying her firstborn child, and deals with external pressure from a concerned boyfriend and the looming responsibility of motherhood. 

How and When to Use Conflict:

Conflict is the backbone of a good story. It forces characters to act; it can result from characters’ actions (or inactions), and it can come from anywhere, showing up in subtle or explicit ways. For the sake of example, I’ll split this section into two: Internal vs. External.

Internal

• Moral Dilemmas: Gray areas create drama. Bill Hoffman’s family was kidnapped—and he can do absolutely nothing about it because he’s flying a plane. But that’s not his biggest problem! The major conflict comes from the abductor’s ultimatum: the only way to save his family is to crash the plane. (Falling). 

Granted, not all moral dilemmas are this extreme. Take, for example, a young pregnant woman struggling with bulimia. A recent visit to the doctor reveals she’s losing weight. She promises she’ll eat more, but can’t overcome the bulimic urges, despite her desire to care for her unborn child. (Baby’s Breath). 

• Identity crises: Self-image, beliefs, and desires can create enough conflict to fill volumes. Yossarian constantly searches for connection and meaning in the face of war. In the chaos, he grapples with his identity as a soldier while overcome by fear. (Catch-22).

• Emotional struggles: Conflict reminds us we are less in control that we’d like to be, and some people will go to great lengths to avoid it. Instead of dealing with her past, Bella copes by bingeing and purging. “I’d been fine on my own, had everything under control, a high honors student on a fast track to pharmacy school; my bingeing and purging episodes perfectly strategized.” But the statement alone is contradictory—despite trying to convince herself and others she’s fine, Bella’s less in control that she believes. (Baby’s Breath). However, other characters find strength by turning their anger, sorrow, jealousy, or bitterness into action. Dr. Gray’s personal loss drives him to channel his heavy grief into activism. (Voices of Elysian Fields).

• Unreliable (or biased) Narrators: Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth? “Facts” told by a narrator aren’t often as black-and-white as presented, and an unreliable narrator can skew our perception, and the reality for those around them, creating conflict from their biases, lies, and little ‘t’ truths. Consider Rachel—an unemployed woman struggling with alcohol—who witnesses a shocking event that leads her to dig into a missing persons case, but can she trust what she saw? Or is her mind too far gone? (The Girl on the Train).

External

• People vs. People: Conflict can arise from characters’ actions or inactions. Aren’t we often the root of our own problems, too? Yossarian’s conflict isn’t just with the enemy he fights during WWII, but with those around him. He is constantly up against Cathcart, who represents the absurdity of bureaucracy, as well as Milo, who’s manipulative and solely focused on turning the war into a profit-gaining enterprise. (Catch-22).

• People vs. Society: This includes conflict stemming from cultural norms, traditions, or laws, economic wealth, or disparity. Dr. Gray contends with a bureaucratic system that has neglected the coroner’s office. Inadequate space leaves them dealing with bodies piling up (literally). His situation is exacerbated by corrupt politicians whom he suspects are at the core of a scandal. (Voices of Elysian Fields).

• People vs. Nature (Setting): Setting itself can be a character, and sometimes, an antagonist. In Cormac McCarthy’s The Road, the bleak, ash-covered landscape acts as an adversary. Throughout much of this story, father and son grapple with natural forces, and the environment emerges as a significant character. 

• People vs. Supernatural: Spirits, ghosts, demons—anything not of this realm can be a source of conflict for our characters. In Claire Fraise’s They Stay series, the protagonist is up against supernatural forces, and she interacts with ghosts (both friend and foe). These paranormal elements are the backbone of all conflicts within the series.

• People vs. Machine: With the ever-constant rise in technology, we see this form of conflict played out daily. When the pilot drifts in and out of consciousness, Jo battles to land a plane with instruction from the tower; in this instance, the machine (the plane) has become a grave antagonistic force and the stakes are heightened—if she fails, everyone dies. (Falling). 

Lookout! 

Observe how conflict unfolds in your favorite movies and books. Study both internal and external conflicts and how they play out. If the internal conflict isn’t stated or obvious, can you infer a character’s inner struggles based on their actions and reactions to outer circumstances? How does the author or director make use of this device? Was it effective? How can your understanding of what they did help you accomplish the same?

Prompt 

Develop a character facing two conflicting desires. Perhaps he wishes to be closer to his girlfriend, who’s moving to New York for a dream job, but doesn’t want to leave his quiet life on a Pennsylvania farm. Then, choose from the list of external conflicts above and add that element. Perhaps ghosts come to settle on the farmland, disrupting his peaceful life. Or just as his girlfriend lands in New York, an autonomous AI-controlled technological barrier encircles the entire state, preventing anyone from entering or leaving.

Further Reading: 

• https://literarydevices.net/what-is-the-main-conflict-a-quick-guide-for-writers/

• https://literarydevices.net/internal-conflict-explained-a-literary-device-for-writers/

• https://writershelpingwriters.net/thesaurus_sample/conflict-thesaurus-supercharge-your-story-with-225-conflict-scenarios/

• https://writershelpingwriters.net/2025/12/four-moments-when-you-should-hold-the-conflict/

• https://writershelpingwriters.net/2025/08/strengthen-your-story-with-conflict/

Literary Alchemy: Ingredients of the Story – Misdirection

A series designed to elevate your skills and empower you to write like a pro.

By Chrissy Hicks

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Misdirection is a sneaky literary device that leads readers to believe one thing while hiding the truth. Consider the shocking betrayal on the Ides of March, when Caeser’s best friend stabbed him in the back. Et tu Brutè? Likewise, you want your reader to never see it coming.

Why use Misdirection?

• Maintaining suspense is a primary reason to use this mechanism. Keep your audience guessing what happens next. In Lest She Forget, by Lisa Malice, the main character awakens from a coma with no memory. The storyline is chock-full of misdirections, as readers are thrust into a twisty narrative with one reveal after another, often contradicting what we (and the protagonist) originally believed was true.

• Big reveals will be more impactful when the truth contradicts earlier assumptions. Through clever misdirection, you can achieve the coveted “plot twist” reviewers can’t stop talking about! In The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald), even the title hints at the main character’s rise and perceived success, leading readers to expect the realization of his dreams. Yet the true nature of Gatsby’s wealth and George’s mistaken identity, leads to a tragic ending which comes as a shock.

• Show complex character traits by exposing their true nature only when the time is right. Consider the classic by Agatha Christie, And Then There Were None. Dr. Armstrong initially comes across as competent and professional, but his past indiscretions are later revealed: operating on people while drunk and covering up his involvement in a patient’s death. These reveals create uncertainty and suspicion.

• This technique mirrors the uncertainties of real life. People often make erroneous judgments based on incomplete information. At the start of my flash piece Overdue, Marty assumes he’ll quickly find something he can pawn from a suburban house in a well-to-do neighborhood, but the outside doesn’t match what he finds on the inside.

How and When to Use Misdirection:

Utilize misdirection by introducing seemingly factual information which later proves deceptive, paving the way for shocking plot twists that captivate and surprise your audience. This can be done through:

• Characters’ Secret Pasts: Clues of a character’s past can seem innocent until pieced together for a bigger reveal later that exposes their secrets. For example, Dr. Armstrong presented as a trustworthy doctor. His claim of not knowing a patient was a lie (though the reader doesn’t know this yet): “The name meant nothing to me when it was spoken. What was it Clees? Close? I really can’t remember having a patient of that name, or being connected with a death in any way.” It wasn’t until people were picked off one by one by an unidentified murderer that the survivors confronted him, and his deception was revealed, leading to a tense scene where his past failures were exposed. (And Then There Were None).

• Setting: Consider how you can use the expectations of a setting and flip them upside down. “Marty crept toward the two-story cookie-cutter house in the quiet cul-de-sac... Rumors had painted the residents as well-off... he needed the extra cash rich people left out—a purse on a table, a coin jar on the counter...” The reader, like Marty, encounters anything but the norm they presumed: 

Entering the dining room, Marty’s heart sank. A handwritten grocery list lay abandoned on the table, shoved aside a stack of bills stamped ‘overdue’ in violent red ink. The familiarity hit him like a gut-punch. They were trying to survive. (Overdue).

• Unreliable (or biased) Narrators: In The Great Gatsby, Nick Carroway, though not entirely “unreliable,” idealizes Gatsby, focusing on his dreams and aspirations while glossing over his flaws and the moral decay. Because we only see the story through his biased perspective, readers are misled regarding Gatsby’s true nature, such as his involvement in illegal activities and his obsession with Daisy. 

• Subplot: A subplot that distracts from the main conflict can create an excellent ruse. For example, in Lest She Forget, a mysterious visitor arrives, leaving the protagonist unsure whether he’s there to protect or harm. What’s more, there’s an underlying attraction between them, hinting at a possible past relationship. This thread keeps the reader guessing about their true connection and adds to the protagonist’s confusion. The reader is left to wonder whether this subplot is part of the major conflict or something else, and leads to a surprising discovery.

Red Herrings: Red herrings are misleading elements that divert readers by suggesting something through foreshadowing or clues about a character’s intentions, goals, or traits, ultimately revealing all is not what it seems.

• In Christie’s book, we question Dr. Armstrong’s innocence when we discover the poor choices in his past. When Captain Phillips is accused, readers are distracted and pointed away from the true killer.

• In Malice’s book, several women died during the blizzard, and we suspect a cover-up regarding the protagonist’s survival, though the motives remain unclear. The mysterious visitor could be friend or foe, and the protagonist must rely on her gut instincts for survival. All these point us away from the truth and further into the protagonist’s confusion and terror. 

• A subtler red herring in Fitzgerald’s book, is Gatsby’s wealth: the focus on this and his extravagant parties detract the reader from what he’s really after (Daisy) and the illicit origins of his fortune.

• At the start of my flash piece, readers might perceive Marty as a typical burglar, but when he breaks into the house, he’s confronted with his own traumatic past and a startling revelation about the family he’d planned to rob.

• Omission: What’s said is often as important as what’s left unspoken. Consider what a narrator leaves out, or what a character fails to notice. By the time you drop your plot twist, your readers won’t have seen it coming, but it should still ring true. When Nick tells Gatsby, “I thought you inherited your money,” Gatsby replies that he’d lost most of it in the panic of the war, then adds nonchalantly that he’s been in several things and changes the subject: “‘Do you mean you’ve been thinking over what I proposed the other night?’ Before I could answer, Daisy came out of the house and two rows of brass buttons on her dress gleamed in the sunlight.” The reader is immediately drawn to Daisy, and we’ve forgotten all about Gatsby and his “business affairs.”

Lookout! 👀

Be on the lookout for signs of misdirection (through red herrings, omissions, secrets, etc) in your favorite movies and books. Consider how the author (or director) accomplished the use of this device. Was it effective? What hooked you and made you turn the page or keep watching? How can your understanding of what they did help you accomplish the same?

Prompt 📝

Write a scene where your protagonist is misled by another’s actions. The actions could suggest this secondary character is heroic or villainous, then twist this so the protagonist realizes the character is the opposite of what they initially believed. The reveal should be surprising but believable, stemming from a misunderstanding rather than an implausible shock.

Further Reading: 📚

• https://literarydevices.net/red-herring/

• https://literarydevices.net/ad-hominem/

• https://authorspathway.com/writing-process/writing/the-power-of-the-unspoken-how-omission-creates-tension-and-subtext/

• https://writershelpingwriters.net/2023/01/build-suspense-with-secrets/

Literary Alchemy: The Ticking Clock

A series designed to elevate your skills and empower you to write like a pro.

By Chrissy Hicks

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The “ticking clock” is a narrative device that introduces a time constraint or deadline, heightening tension and urgency in a story. It compels characters to act quickly, often leading to dramatic stakes and heightened emotional engagement. This device not only propels the plot forward but also immerses readers in the characters’ race against time, making every moment feel critical.

Why Use the Ticking Clock?

To effectively use this technique, include a deadline—whether it’s something drastic like a timed bomb, or something more subtle, like a bus arrival or cigarette break—the type of deadline will depend on your story’s plot. This can create:

• Heightened tension since a looming deadline creates a sense of urgency that keeps readers on the edge of their seats. In 24 (TV Series), Jack Bauer’s race against time to thwart terrorist attacks amplifies the stakes, making each second count.

• Further character development as the pressure of a ticking clock reveals a character’s true nature, showcasing their strengths and weaknesses. In The Woman in Cabin 10 (Ruth Ware), Lo Blacklock frantically attempts to get the crew to take her seriously about a crime she’s witnessed. If she can’t convince the crew or find evidence of the crime before docking, she risks losing the chance to address the situation entirely, as the potential perpetrator could escape or cover their tracks.

• Gain plot momentum and lose the muddy middle. Time constraints can drive the plot forward, forcing characters to make quick decisions that lead to unexpected twists and turns. In The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown), Robert Langdon, is thrust into a race against time to solve a murder mystery. The urgency is heightened by the fact he must decipher these clues before a powerful organization can act on their own agenda.

• Pacing is enhanced with this method, because it creates a sense of rhythm that propels the narrative forward. This urgency keeps readers eager to turn the pages, as they feel the pressure alongside the characters. When Lo finds herself trapped below deck, readers are wondering what will happen next and if she’ll escape before the boat leaves the dock (The Woman in Cabin 10).

How and When to Use the Ticking Clock:

To incorporate the ticking clock into your narrative, consider the following techniques:

• Set Clear Deadlines: Establish a specific time frame that characters must adhere to, whether it’s a countdown to an event, a deadline for a mission, or a race against an impending disaster. “I am going to ask you one last time. Who are your co-conspirators? You have until the count of three, or I will kill you” (24).

• Create Consequences: Make it clear what’s at stake if the deadline is missed. This could involve personal loss, failure of a mission, or even life and death situations. “The answer was Trondheim. . . All I had to do was make it until dawn.” (The Woman in Cabin 10).

• Use Real-Time Elements: Consider employing real-time storytelling, where events unfold in sync with the ticking clock, enhancing the urgency and immediacy of the narrative. “Gray... people in this country are dying, and I need some answers. Are you gonna give ‘em to me or am I gonna have to start hurting you?” “Actually, you're hurting me now.” “Trust me, I'm not” (24).

• Incorporate Flashbacks or Foreshadowing: Use these techniques to reveal past events or hint at future consequences, deepening the emotional impact of the ticking clock. “Now, with over four million copies of The Way in circulation in forty-two languages, Opus Dei was the fastest-growing and most financially secure Catholic organization in the world. Unfortunately, Aringarosa had learned, in an age of religious cynicism, cults, and televangelists, Opus Dei’s escalating wealth and power was a magnet for suspicion.” (The Da Vinci Code).

Lookout

Pay attention to how the ticking clock is used in movies you watch and books you read. Analyze how the author or director builds tension and urgency. What techniques do they employ to keep you engaged? How can you apply these insights to your own writing?

Prompt 

Write a scene where a character faces a looming deadline that forces them to make a critical decision. What if you condensed 24 hours to 15 minutes? Consider how the pressure of time influences their choices and the emotional stakes involved.

Further Reading: 

• Screenwriting from Iowa: Ticking Clock

• Narrative Tension and the Ticking Clock

• Use the ticking clock device to add suspense to your stories! (Video)

Crafting Killer Back Cover Copy

By Lois Winston

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How do most readers buy books when they’re not searching for a specific title or author? They either scroll through an e-tailer site or stroll around the aisles of a bookstore. Either way, the first thing that will catch their attention is a book’s cover. In a bookstore, the reader picks up a book, flip it over, and reads the back cover copy. On an Internet site, the reader scrolls to the book’s description. 

The primary goal of back cover copy is to act as a tease. If the tease works, the reader flips to the first page or clicks on the sample to read a few paragraphs or pages. If she likes what she’s read, she’ll buy the book. If those first few paragraphs or pages don’t grab her, she continues to scroll or stroll. The back cover copy is the first step in whether a reader decides to buy a book. That’s why back cover copy is so important. It’s meant to whet the reader’s appetite and hook a potential customer. 

Back cover copy should consist of one or more short paragraphs that describe the main plot and main protagonist(s) in a book. If you’ve ever queried an agent or editor, it’s like the section of the query letter that describes your book. Sometimes, an editor may even use the author’s query blurb—with or without a few tweaks—for the back cover copy.

So what should go into back cover copy, and what should you omit? First, you want to include enough information to pique the reader’s curiosity about the book. That means giving an indication of the overall story arc and the main character(s). Who are these people you’ve written about, and what is it about them that will make a reader want to care about them, their world, their relationships, and their problems?

That sounds like an overwhelming task to accomplish in a few short paragraphs, but it’s quite easy if you rely on GMC—goal, motivation, and conflict. GMC is not just for plotting a good story and creating compelling characters. Nailing down characters’ GMC provides an author with a toolbox for creating every other aspect of the book—from the query to the synopsis to the novel to the back cover copy.

Step 1: Define Your Main Character

Use a few adjectives and a noun to define your main character. Be specific. These few words will tell exactly who your character is. This gives you a framework from which to work.

For example, in Love, Lies and a Double Shot of Deception the heroine is described as a “poor little rich girl.” The book is a heart-wrenching romantic suspense. Therefore, the back cover copy is crafted to evoke an emotional response in the reader.

In my Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery Series, my protagonist is a “reluctant amateur sleuth.” Since mysteries are plot driven, I created back cover copy that speaks to the cataclysmic upheaval in Anastasia’s life which propels her into solving each mystery.

Step 2: Define Your Main Character’s Internal and External Goals, Motivations, and Conflicts

Every book must have a balance of plot and characterization. External GMC speaks to plot. Internal GMC speaks to characterization.

For each of your main characters, answer the following questions: 
1.  What does your character want?
2.  Why does he/she want it?
3.  What’s keeping him/her from getting it?

Do this for both the external (the plot) and the internal (the characterization) GMC. Keep each answer to one sentence. When you’re finished, you’ll have six sentences, three that speak to plot and three that speak to characterization.

Avoid unnecessary description. No one buys a book because the heroine is a redhead. Include setting, occupation, and other specifics only if they’re pertinent to the plot and main characters. 

For example, in Assault with a Deadly Glue Gun, the first book in my Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery Series, the back cover copy doesn’t mention that the book takes place in New Jersey because it doesn’t matter. However, it does mention that Anastasia is a magazine crafts editor. Why? Because Anastasia discovers the murder victim sitting in her cubicle—glue gunned to her chair. If I didn’t mention Anastasia’s occupation, the circumstances of the victim’s death wouldn’t make any sense.

In Love, Lies and a Double Shot of Deception, I don’t mention Emma’s occupation in the blurb because it’s not relevant. I do mention that the story takes place in Philadelphia because the city plays an important role in the story.

Step 3: Define Other Essential Characters

Back cover copy will often, but not always, mention two or three characters because they’re essential to giving the reader an indication of what the story is about. This will vary depending on the genre and plot. Sometimes only one character is mentioned. If other characters play essential roles in your story, repeat Steps 1 and 2 to define their GMC. You probably won’t use all the information on these characters in crafting the blurb, but writing the information out will help you decide what’s important to include and what you can omit in crafting your back cover copy.

Step 4: Voice

The final component of your back cover copy is voice. Describe your book in a voice that matches the voice of your novel. Look at the examples at the end of this article. Love, Lies and a Double Shot of Deception is an emotionally driven romantic suspense, A Crafty Collage of Crime is a humorous mystery. The voice used in each is different. If you haven’t incorporated the voice from your book in your answers to the GMC questions, go back and tweak the sentences. 

It’s important for the reader to be able to determine whether your book is a romantic comedy versus a romantic suspense or a cozy mystery versus a police procedural. You want to meet reader expectation from the very beginning. Readers usually like surprise plot twists, but they don’t want to be tricked into buying a book that purports to be one genre, only to find it’s a completely different genre.

As a side note, cover art should also convey the tone of your book. The cover art and back cover copy should complement each other.

Step 5: Put it All Together

Look at the sentences you’ve created. Depending on the genre, you may or may not use all the sentences you’ve written to develop your back cover copy. Some back cover copy works well as one short paragraph. Most require two, three, or four paragraphs. Choose the sentences that best convey your story. String them together to create your back cover copy, fleshing the paragraphs out with any other pertinent information you believe is essential to hook the reader. Your paragraphs should be tight, concise, and free of unimportant details. Your goal is to make the reader want to flip to the first page of your book to read the opening paragraphs, then head to the cash register or click the Buy Link.

Samples of Back Cover Copy

Humorous cozy mystery:

A Crafty Collage of Crime

Killer Nashville Silver Falchion Award for Best Comedy

Wherever crafts editor and reluctant amateur sleuth Anastasia Pollack goes, murder and mayhem follow. Her honeymoon is no exception. She and new husband, photojournalist (and possible spy) Zachary Barnes, are enjoying a walk in the Tennessee woods when they stumble upon a body on the side of a creek. The dead man is the husband of one of the three sisters who own the winery and guest cottages where Anastasia and Zack are vacationing.

When the local sheriff sets his sights on the widow as the prime suspect, her sisters close ranks around her. The three siblings are true-crime junkies, and thanks to a podcaster who has produced an unauthorized series about her, Anastasia’s reputation for solving murders has preceded her to the bucolic hamlet. The sisters plead for her help in finding the real killer. As Anastasia learns more about the women and their business, a host of suspects emerge, including several relatives, a relentless land developer, and even the sisters themselves.

Meanwhile, Anastasia becomes obsessed with discovering the podcaster’s identity. Along with knowing about Anastasia’s life as a reluctant amateur sleuth, the podcaster has divulged details of Anastasia’s personal life. Someone has betrayed Anastasia’s trust, and she’s out to discover the identity of the culprit.

Emotionally driven romantic suspense:

Love, Lies and a Double Shot of Deception 

Life has delivered one sucker punch after another to Emma Wadsworth. As a matter of fact, you could say the poor little rich girl is the ultimate poster child for Money Can’t Buy Happiness—even if she is no longer a child.

Billionaire real estate stud Logan Crawford is as famous for his less-than-platinum reputation as he is his business empire. In thirty-eight years, he’s never fallen in love, and that’s just fine with him—until he meets Emma.

But Emma’s not buying into Logan’s seductive ways. Well, maybe just a little, but she’s definitely going into the affair with her eyes wide open. She’s no fool. At least not anymore. Her deceased husband saw to that. Besides, she knows Logan will catch the first jet out of Philadelphia once he learns her secrets.

Except things don’t go exactly as Emma has predicted, and when Philadelphia’s most beloved citizen becomes the city’s most notorious criminal, she needs to do a lot more than clear her name if she wants to save her budding romance with the billionaire hunk someone is willing to kill for.

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USA Today and Amazon bestselling and award-winning author Lois Winston writes mystery, romance, romantic suspense, chick lit, women’s fiction, children’s chapter books, and nonfiction. Kirkus Reviews dubbed her critically acclaimed Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series, “North Jersey’s more mature answer to Stephanie Plum.” In addition, Lois is a former literary agent and an award-winning craft and needlework designer who often draws much of her source material for both her characters and plots from her experiences in the crafts industry. Her most recent release is Sorry, Knot Sorry, the thirteenth book in her Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery Series. Learn more about Lois and her books at www.loiswinston.com where you can also sign up for her newsletter and follow her on various social media sites.

Overcoming Blinking Cursor Syndrome

By Lois Winston

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I’ve heard some people state that there’s no such thing as writer’s block, that it’s all in your head, and you just need to snap out of it. Place your butt in your chair, your fingers on the keyboard, and just start typing!

I beg to differ. If something is keeping the words from flowing, it doesn’t matter if that something is physical, emotional, or mental. It exists. Anyone who claims otherwise has either been lucky enough not to experience writer’s block yet or is lying—to herself and/or to others. When life happens, it often impedes the muse, and every author at some point will find herself staring at a blinking cursor.

However, there are ways to overcome Blinking Cursor Syndrome, and they don’t involve purchasing additional software or downloading another social media app. My writing mantra has always been “Truth is Stranger than Fiction.” Many plots and characters in my books have been influenced by what’s going on in the world and how those events impact ordinary people.

The next time you find yourself suffering from Blinking Cursor Syndrome, try one or more of these tips:

Watch and read the news.

Too many people I know don’t regularly read, watch, or listen to the news. Big mistake, especially for writers. On any given night, a half-hour of world or local news will provide massive fodder for plots and characters.

From the time I began writing thirty years ago, I’ve kept a binder of interesting articles I’ve come across, clipping them from newspapers and news magazines or downloading them from the internet. Whenever I’m stuck for an idea, I pull out that binder and read through some of the articles in search of a nugget of inspiration. Even though I write mysteries, not all these articles are about criminal activity. My binder includes human interest stories, editorials, letters to Dear Abby, and even ads for odd mail-order products. Something will inevitably get my creative juices flowing.

Employ the fine art of eavesdropping.

I’m also a diehard eavesdropper. Instead of burying my nose in my phone, whether I’m standing on a supermarket line, in the theater awaiting the start of a movie, in a doctor’s waiting room, or even in a stall in the ladies’ room, I’m listen to conversations going on around me, especially phone conversations, which amazingly, are often on speaker in very public places. If I hear anything interesting (and I usually do), I’ll jot down some notes when I get into my car.

Be observant.

Stick your phone in your pocket and focus on the people you encounter as you go about your day. What are they doing? How do they react to and interact with others? Are they unique in the way they dress or look? Do they have any quirks? You won’t always come across someone worth remembering, but often, you will. Again, make notes for future reference.

In A Stitch to Die For, the fifth book in my Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery Series, a murder occurs in the home across the street from Anastasia. Over the course of the series, the house is demolished and a McMansion built in its place. When I was mulling over ideas for the plot of Seams Like the Perfect Crime, the recently released fourteenth book in the series, I knew it was time for new neighbors to move into the McMansion. But who should they be?

I’ve had some very strange neighbors throughout my life, but the strangest were a couple who lived across the street from us twenty-five years ago. However, even though truth is often stranger than fiction, and my humorous cozy mystery series is populated with quite a few quirky characters, including my sleuth’s communist mother-in-law and a Shakespeare-quoting parrot, I wondered if readers would buy into a fictional version of my former neighbors. 

Barefoot and shirtless, the husband would spend hours mowing his dirt-packed, weed-infested front lawn. Except for rain or snow, every day throughout the year, he’d run the mower back and forth across the same postage stamp-sized patch until the mower ran out of gas. He’d then sit on the top step of his porch and guzzle beer until he either passed out or fell asleep, lying on his back with his massive beer belly protruding skyward.

His wife was odd in her own way. One day, I witnessed a sidewalk brawl between her and a woman she accused of having an affair with her weed-mowing, beer-guzzling husband.

To get a feel for how readers would react to characters based on this couple, I told my newsletter subscribers about them and asked if I should use them as inspiration for characters in my next book. The overwhelming consensus of those who responded was to go for it. I did, and I’m thrilled to report that so far, reviews are quite positive.

Along with the above three tips I’ve used to help me deal with Blinking Cursor Syndrome, here are a few others I find helpful:

Join a critique group or find a critique partner.

It always helps to have another writer or writers with whom to brainstorm and bounce around ideas. Let’s face it, sometimes we’re just too invested in our work to be objective. A good critique partner will bring a fresh set of eyes to your work and help you find a way out of that corner you’ve written yourself into.

Clear your overactive imagination. 

Sometimes our brains are so full of fragments of ideas that we find it difficult to narrow down the possibilities. If we choose A, will we regret not choosing B? What about C? Or D? When that happens, our imagination can work against us, paralyzing us with the fear of making the wrong choice. Try meditating. Or take a walk in the woods. Or a long, hot shower or bath. Wake up half an hour early to focus on one character or one plot point, ignoring everything else. Your brain is like your desk. If it’s too cluttered, you’ll never find what you need.

Give yourself permission not to write.

Some authors feel that the moment they finish a book, they need to start the next one. However, humans aren’t perpetual motion machines. If we want to nurture our creativity, we need to care for our bodies and minds, allowing them to rejuvenate periodically. Too often, we sabotage ourselves by believing we can never stop working. This is counterproductive, inevitably stifling our creativity.

When you begin to feel yourself succumbing to this way of thinking, walk away from the keyboard and screen. Take the day off. Or several days. Read a book for pleasure. Spend time on a hobby you’ve ignored for too long. Work in your garden. Do some volunteer work. Go shopping or out to lunch with friends. Take a short vacation or a staycation. Most importantly, step out of your writer’s cave. Give your brain and body a much-needed break. That blinking cursor is telling you that you need one.

Learn to say no.

Forgive me if this comes across as sounding sexist, but in my experience, this is a problem that affects women more than men. We have a hard time saying no, no matter what’s asked of us or by whom. Is it insecurity? A need to please? Or because we’ve been conditioned to believe we’re capable of accomplishing anything? After all, I am woman. Hear me roar! No matter the reason, from my own experiences and those of many of my friends, this inability to say no results in juggling too much, which creates an overabundance of stress and leaves less time for writing. Then, when we do find time to write, we pressure ourselves to get that self-imposed daily word count down, which creates even more stress. And thanks to all that stress, the words refuse to come.

The solution is as simple as not being so accommodating. Most people will always zero in on the one person they know they can wheedle, cajole, sweet-talk, or arm-twist into heading this committee or taking on that project, especially since most of these people believe, as writers, we don’t have “real” jobs (Which is a topic for another article). Resolve to grow a backbone, put your foot down, and say no now and then. You’ll find that when you free up writing time, your cursor will no longer blink you into a hypnotic trance.

Set a challenge for yourself.

Step away from trying to figure out whatever plot or character issue is causing Blinking Cursor Syndrome. Instead, find a recent news or human-interest story. Then, open a fresh document on your laptop or grab a pad and pen. 

After reading the article, allow yourself three to five minutes to put a “what if” spin to the article by answering each of the following questions:

1. Who is the protagonist?

2. Who is the antagonist?

3. Who are the secondary characters?

4. Where does the story take place?

5. What are the characters’ goals?

6. What are the characters’ motivations?

7. What are the characters’ conflicts?

8.What’s the basic plot?

9. What are the three major turning points of the plot?

10. What’s the black moment?

11. What’s the resolution?

When you’ve finished, study your answers. Chances are, your brain has subconsciously focused on the problem you put aside, and somewhere within the answers to those questions, is the solution to your blinking cursor. If not, you’ve got a head start on a new book. And that’s never a bad thing!

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USA Today and Amazon bestselling and award-winning author Lois Winston writes mystery, romance, romantic suspense, chick lit, women’s fiction, children’s chapter books, and nonfiction. Kirkus Reviews dubbed her critically acclaimed Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series, “North Jersey’s more mature answer to Stephanie Plum.” In addition, Lois is a former literary agent and an award-winning craft and needlework designer who often draws much of her source material for both her characters and plots from her experiences in the crafts industry. A Crafty Collage of Crime, the twelfth book in her series, was the recipient of the 2024 Killer Nashville Silver Falchion Award for Best Comedy. Learn more about Lois and her books at www.loiswinston.com. Sign up for her newsletter to receive an Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mini-Mystery.

What if?: A Most Important Question

By DP Lyle 

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Every author has been asked: Where do you get your ideas? The short answer is: Everywhere. Something you see or read germinates an idea, and a story unfolds. Sometimes the story comes together quickly, but most often weeks of building mental scenes and snippets of dialog, setting, and action must be waded through before pen meets paper. 

An overheard conversation might be the spark. Or a couple talking/arguing/laughing at a nearby restaurant table. Maybe an odd character strolling down the street. Perhaps an idea simply pops into your head from wherever those thoughts arise. 

Okay, so you have an idea. Now what? An idea isn’t a story. Ideas are a dime a dozen. They are literally everywhere. The key is to find an idea that can stand up through a 100,000-word manuscript. No small trick.

To do this, the original idea must be refined and fleshed out. An idea can become a scene, but to be a full-length novel it must evolve and expand. It must become a premise, or what many call “The Central Story Question.” It’s what the story is really about.

To become a premise, the original idea must ultimately lead to the question: What if? 

What if this happened? What if that person did this? What if that dude in the shabby clothes was actually a rogue undercover agent with a deadly agenda? What if the restaurant couple was planning a murder? What if that briefcase contained state secrets? Or an explosive device? Or a deadly virus?

From those two words--What if?--stories arise.

The power of your story’s What If? can’t be overestimated. If it is done correctly and not lost in the writing. A good What if? states the main character, the situation, the stakes, and, most importantly, the Central Story Question. 

It is the answering of this question that is the story.

Okay, so our restaurant couple is planning a murder. Who, what, when, where, and, most importantly, why? It’s always the why that makes a great story. Is it to get out of a messy marriage and save all that alimony money, or to cash in that million-dollar insurance policy, or to cover an embezzlement from a company they work for, or to seek revenge for some act? Even though the original idea was a couple planning a murder, each of these scenarios generates a different story. Each will lead your sleuth, who must solve the murder, into a different world.

What if a young couple witnesses a murder and in so doing put themselves in the cross hairs of a transnational criminal organization?

This is the What If? for my latest Cain/Harper thriller, TUNICA. 

The What If? should be stated in about 25 words or less. Because the What If? is brief, it’s often called the elevator pitch or the agent pitch. It communicates your story in the most efficient terms. We’ve all heard writers respond when asked what their story is about by saying things like, “Well, there’s this guy who lives on an island. And he hates the water. And a big shark is killing people and this is threatening to shut down the town’s beaches on a holiday weekend. And then there’s this other guy who is a shark expert and he has a really cool boat. Oh, I forgot, the first guy is the chief of police.” Yawn.

What if a hydrophobic, island-community police chief must go out on the water to kill a predatory shark to save the town’s summer economy and to prove his own self-worth?

What if an FBI trainee must exchange personal information with a sadistic serial killer in order to track another serial killer and save a Senator’s daughter?

What if the youngest son of a mafia family takes revenge on the men who shot his father and becomes the new godfather, losing his own soul in the process?

These are of course Jaws, Silence of the Lambs, and The Godfather, respectively. See how these What If?s reveal the protagonist and cleanly state the story premise? Read these books or watch the movies and you will see that each scene moves toward answering the story’s What If? Each of your scenes should, too. If not, consider cutting, or at least reworking, those that don’t.

Many authors consume weeks creating the What If? for their story. Constantly refining it, making it more on point. You should, too. It’s that important. It concisely states the Central Story Question.

Here’s a tip: When your What If? is completed to your satisfaction, print it out and tape it to your computer or the front of your writing pad so you will see it every time you sit down to write. Before writing each scene, read your What If? and ask yourself, “Does this scene help answer the Central Story Question?” If you do this, you will never lose sight of what your story is about. Particularly in the dreaded middle, where so many stories get lost in the jumble of character and backstory and cool dialog all the other stuff that goes into a manuscript. The What If? keeps you focused and on track.

Writing Fiction, or Non-fiction, Research is Key

By Patrick Kendrick

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I have been fortunate to have my books published for some sixteen years. Throughout my writing career I have learned that research is THE key to pulling in readers and adding authenticity to your work, even if it is fiction. If you’re doing non-fiction, research is even more paramount. 

With fiction, many writers believe they can write whatever comes to mind, creating strong characters, their environments, backgrounds and whatever plot they wish to follow. But if you’re writing historical fiction, it is a must that you follow, or get as close to, following what was happening at the specific time in history you are writing about. 

My newest book, Edison’s Last Breath, a historical mystery that involves several real-life characters, such as Henry Ford, Charles Lindbergh, Josephine Baker, and Ernest Heminway (once again from my first book, Papa’s Problem). My primary character, Emmet MacWain meets these people when there is a murder at Henry Ford’s winter home in Ft. Myers, Florida. I was inspired to write about Josephine Baker as it was revealed that she was not only the biggest entertainer of her time, but that she was also a spy for the French resistance. 

As with Papa’s Problem, in which Hemingway is a murder suspect, I found that I could not just write what I knew from lore. Libraries, particularly those that exist where the character lived—Hemingway in the earlier book, and Ford and Baker in the present book—are useful as they may house personal letters and documents from the real-life character. In Edison’s Last Breath, I had the opportunity to go to the Ford and Edison estates in Ft. Myers, Florida, where, to my astonishment, I found a corked test tube, with an accompanying note read, “This tube contains Thomas Edison’s Last Breath.” Hence the title of my book, Edison’s Last Breath.

Initially I thought it was some sort of hoax, but as I researched the odd item, I found out that, as he was dying, Edison, a close friend and mentor to Henry Ford, would try to save what he thought was his last breath for his friend, Ford. Charles Edison, the son of Thomas, stayed with his father while he was in his death bed. Each time he thought his father was exhaling his last breath, he would try to capture it. I did not make this up! 

I was bowled over by this fact, and my novel took a new direction that took us to many places, including Josphine Baker’s chateau in France, where I found out even more about this heroic woman who spied for the French. She was so good at entertaining people, that German officers who suspected she was a spy would go to her home with intent to find some evidence, for which they might arrest her. But Josphine was so clever and such a dynamic performer, she would charm the soldiers with wine, dinner and a personal show, and the Nazis would forget what they came for. Baker was one of the bravest spies ever.

That was the cool thing I found out. The not-so-cool thing I found out as well, was that both Ford and Lindbergh were antisemitic, Nazi supporters.  Lindbergh was gifted a plane by the furor himself and had several mistresses in Germany, while Ford had contracts with the Germans to make trucks for their Army during our country’s war with them. Lindbergh was awarded the Serve Cross of the Order of the German Eagle, while Ford was awarded the Grand Cross of the German Eagle.

Working on my previous book (for some 20 years) “American Ripper: The Enigma of America’s Serial Killer Cop,” I had to do much more, shall we say hazardous research, such as visiting the serial killer, Gerard Schaefer, in jail. Schaefer was convicted of two murders but was believed to have committed dozens more. He typically killed two girls at a time, often picking them up in his patrol car as they were hitch-hiking. 

I spent many years writing this story because of its true nature and because so many people had to be interviewed: police who worked with Schaefer and investigated his murders, the lawyers who prosecuted him as well as his public defender, surviving family members, the killer’s mother, and many police officers in numerous states, who I still hear from, when they find another body. Just last year, I was called by a police officer who was investigating cold cases. They had found a body, a teenage girl back 1972 in a mangrove-covered area where Schaefer used to take his victims. She was never identified until an officer from Palm Beach County Sheriff’s office took over the cold cases. 

The victim was found with wire tied in knots around her hands and feet. She was skeletonized but the wire knots were still intact. Many police officers know who I am from my research and my book, so he called me and asked if I has any pictures from Schaefer’s crime scenes. I had copies made years ago from the evidence files (though I chose not to use them in my book for the sake of the families who lost their children). The cold case cop sent me the pictures they took of the knotted wire, and they matched knots that Schaefer utilized on his victims. So now that had a connection between Schaefer and the victim, Karen Poole. We also found that Schaefer used to live just around the corner from the victim.

So, research—good, intense research—can add reality to your fiction novel, or the stark truth in a non-fiction book on true crime.

Partners in Crime (Writing)

By Tilia Klebenov Jacobs

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When I tell fellow authors I have a writing partner, I generally get one of two responses. The most common is a shock, rather as if I had casually mentioned that I prefer to eat bananas with the peel on. The second, though less frequent, is a cry of recognition: “Me too!” they exclaim. “Of course, you need to know each other really well first, and it’s essential that you work the same way. Couldn’t have a plotter working with a pantser, haha!”

Well, not necessarily. Allow me to lift the veil.

My partner Norman and I knew each other slightly in college, where he was editor of the campus newspaper that I wrote one article for. After college, I published a few novels, and he published a pile of short works in publications that turned me down. A few decades later we were nominally in touch on Facebook, but never spoke or met.

Then Covid hit. Writing at home with everyone under the same roof 24/7 stunk. I wasn’t good at it. While I was trying—really trying!—to write a story for a teacher friend of mine to share with her students, Norman contacted me on Facebook Messenger to ask if I knew of any writers’ groups for short stories. I didn’t, but after we’d texted for a bit about fiction, families, and more, I asked if he wanted to write together. He did. We hammered out the story for my friend and her students, and then got cracking on a novel. During that deeply unnerving time, it was marvelous to have someone to be accountable for: like having a gym buddy, but for words. 

In our experience—your mileage may vary—partners don’t necessarily need to know each other well, because we certainly didn’t. Nor do you need to have identical work styles: Norman is a pantser, and I am a blackbelt plotter (He’s adjusting nicely.) Instead, our partnership was a process of getting to know each other while adapting to one another’s approaches, and accepting that our skill sets didn’t need to be identical as long as they were complementary.

That being said, writing partners need to have a few things in common. The first, not surprisingly, is a work ethic. We take our projects seriously, showing up for meetings and producing whatever we jointly agree upon. 

The second is a sense of humor. Each of us had our characters do and say things that the other found hilarious. If you don’t share a funny bone, you see the world differently.

Finally, partners need a mutual vision of the project, including an agreed-upon-conclusion. If you’re working on a joint project but one of you is writing a noir detective story and the other has embarked upon a musical rom-com set in San Juan Capistrano on the day the swallows return, the mission is doomed.

(In the not-mandatory-but-useful category, we found it’s very helpful to have families that are at about the same stage. I can’t tell you how many times I texted Norman to say, “I’ll be late for the meeting—turns out I have kids.”)

Above all else, listen to what the story has to say to you. Our novel took us in some unexpected directions, but we respected it and each other enough to see where it led us. Sometimes the art knows more than the artist. Add a steady drip of mutual respect, and you can garner results that outstrip anything either of you could have pulled off alone. 

Sometimes the whole really is greater than the sum of its parts.

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Till Klebenov Jacobs is a crime writer based in New England. Her latest book is Stealing Time.

Ten Medical and Forensic Mistakes Writers Should Never Make

By D. P. Lyle, MD

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Writers make mistakes. An anachronism here, a blunder in logic there, departures from common sense everywhere, and of course the all-too-common break from real world possibilities that plagues even the most well-written story. It’s part of the process. Sitting alone, bouncing clever ideas off your computer screen offers little feedback. But readers notice such breaches. They shake their heads, close the book, snuff out the light, and go to sleep. Not the ringing endorsement you wished for. Here are some of the most common medical and forensic mistakes writers make. Mistakes you want to avoid.

The Quick Death: Death rarely arrives instantly. Sure, it can occur with heart attacks, strokes, and extremely abnormal heart rhythms, but trauma, such as gunshot wounds and blows to the head, the staples of crime fiction, rarely cause sudden death. Yet, how often has a single shot felled a villain? Bang, and he drops dead. In order for that to occur, the bullet would need to severely damage the brain, the heart, or the cervical (neck) portion of the spinal cord. A shot to the chest or abdomen leads to screaming and moaning and bleeding and expletives, but death comes from bleeding and that takes time. How long? It depends on what’s damaged. If a major artery is opened, the bleeding is brisk and death can follow in five minutes, even less. If the bullet or knife blade only strikes tissues and organs, the bleeding is slower and death can take many minutes, or hours, or not at all.

The Pretty Death: I call this the “Hollywood Death.” Calm, peaceful, and not a hair out of place. Blood? Almost never. Except in slasher movies of course and here massive bleeding is the norm. More often, the deceased is nicely dressed, lying in bed, make-up perfect, and with a slight flutter of the eyelids if you look closely. Real dead people are not pretty. I don’t care what they looked like during life, in death they are pale, waxy, and gray. Their eyes do not flutter, and they do not look relaxed and peaceful. They look dead.

The Bleeding Corpse: Your detective arrives at the scene a half hour after the murder. Blood oozes from the corpse’s mouth, from the stab wound in his chest, or from the vampire fang marks on his neck. Houston, we have a problem. You see, dead folks don’t bleed. When you die, your heart stops, and the blood no longer circulates. Rather, it stagnates and clots and stagnant and clotted blood does not move. It does not drip or gush or ooze or gurgle or flow or trickle from the body. It lies there, separates into a dark red clot with a halo of straw-colored serum, and then dries to a brownish stain.

The Accurate Time of Death: Determining the time of death is neither easy nor very accurate. It’s always a best guess and is always stated as a range rather than an exact time. Yet, how many times have you seen the medical examiner (ME) confidently announce that the victim died at “8:30 last night”? I always wondered exactly how he made this determination. Was it rigor mortis, body temperature, or lividity? Was it the presence or absence of certain bugs? The truth is that none of these is accurate. The decline in body temperature, the appearance of rigor, the development of lividity, and the appearance of flies and bugs are affected by many variables so are mostly unpredictable. The touted guidelines for each of these are like stop signs in Italy--merely suggestions. In real-life, the ME would say that death likely occurred “between 8 p.m. and midnight.” But that might make him appear wishy-washy, and Hollywood and writers like their heroes to be smart. Smarter than they could possibly be. Stick with a range, and you’ll be more realistic.

The One-punch Knockout: You’ve seen this a million times. One character socks another character in the jaw. He goes down like a sack of potatoes and is apparently written out of the story since we never hear from him again. Really? Think about a boxing match. Two guys that are trained to inflict damage and they have trouble knocking each other out. And when they do, the one on his back is up in a couple of minutes, claiming the other guy caught him with a lucky punch. Listen to me. Only James Bond can knock someone out with a single blow, and maybe Mike Tyson, but your car-salesman-turned-amateur-sleuth cannot.

Another common scenario is when a character is hit in the head, placed in the trunk of car, driven 50 miles, tied to a post or a bed or whatever, and then a bucket of water is thrown in his face to revive him. He sputters and is suddenly wake and alert. Not going to happen. If someone is knocked unconscious and doesn’t come around in a few minutes, something very bad is going on. Like a brain bruise (cerebral contusion) or bleeding into or around the brain (subdural hematoma). These require a hospital and a neurosurgeon, not a bucket of water.

The Disappearing Black Eye: If your character suffers a black eye in Chapter 3, she will have it for two weeks, which depending on the time frame of your story just might take you to the end of the book. She will not be “normal” in two days. A black eye is a contusion (bruise) and is caused by blood leaking from tiny blood vessels that are injured by the blow. It takes the body about two weeks to clear all that blood from the tissues. It will darken over two days, fade over four or five, turn greenish, brownish, and a sickly yellow before it disappears. On a good note, by about day seven, she might be able to hide it with make-up.

The Quick Healing: Do you know why boxers wear gloves? To protect their hands and faces. Back in the bare-knuckle days, broken hands and cut and bloody faces were the norm. Gloves made the sport more civilized. So, if your character gets in a fist fight both he and his opponent will suffer cuts and bruises and broken teeth. He will not walk away unscathed. His cuts will need stitches, his bruises ice, and a trip to the dentist is likely. Each of these will take a couple of weeks to heal.

If your character falls down the stairs and injures his back, he will not be able to run from or chase the bad guy or make love to his new lover the next day. Give the guy a few days to heal and make him limp and complain in the interim. If he breaks an arm, he’ll need four weeks minimum.

If he’s stabbed or shot and, as so many protagonists do, sneaks out of the hospital the next day to continue his pursuit of the bad guys, all will not be forgiven. He will have pain that will limit his ability to run and jump and fight and do all those hero things. The chances that his wound could then become infected are real and would greatly complicate his situation and might even kill him.

If his car goes over an embankment and tumbles into a ravine, he will not simply crawl out and walk away. At best he’ll be banged and bruised and at worst will have broken bones and injured internal organs. 

The Instant Athlete: Your PI drinks too much, smokes two packs a day, and eats fast food on a regular basis. After all, stake outs are boring. His belly flaps over his belt and he gets short of breath climbing a single flight of stairs. He will not be able to chase the villain for ten blocks. Two on a good day. 

If you create a scene where your character must run down a bad guy, make him capable of such a pursuit. Remember “Babe” Levy (Dustin Hoffman) in Marathon Man? He was student, slight of build, not athletic appearing in the least, yet he had to run for his life as Dr. Christian Szell (Sir Laurence Olivier) and his Nazi thugs chased him endlessly. But he was capable. Earlier in the film we learned that he was distance runner and ran around the reservoir in Central Park everyday. He could run for his life.

The Untraceable Poison: Of all the questions I receive from writers this is number one. Seems that all crime writers want an untraceable poison. Sorry, no such thing. True it might not be found or maybe not even searched for, but if it is looked for and if the ME has good blood or tissue samples, he will find it. With fancy equipment like Gas Chromatography-Mass Spectroscopy (GS-MS) virtually any chemical can be identified. This combination gives a “chemical fingerprint” of the compound in question. 

The most common drugs involved in overdose deaths are alcohol, narcotics, amphetamines, cocaine, and various tranquilizers and sedatives. The main reason is that these are readily available either on the street or in the medicine cabinet. Each of these is revealed by a simple and cheap drug screen. So, if your killer employs one of these, the ME will know it in a couple of hours.

But what if the toxin is more exotic? Maybe cyanide or thallium or the toxin of a blue-ringed octopus? This is trickier. These don’t show up on routine drug screens and must be tested for with time-consuming and expensive protocols. Maybe the ME doesn’t have the time, interest, or budget to do a full toxicological examination. Maybe he simply attributes the death to some natural cause and saves the county a ton of money. Happens all the time and it can happen in your story. But, if he pulls out all the stops, he will find the drug.

The Instant Lab Result: The world is not like CSI. Not even close. Those CSI folks get results in a New York minute. Sometimes faster. They crack computers, perform autopsies, complete esoteric toxicological testing, and create DNA profiles before the first commercial break. In the real world such testing typically takes days, even weeks. Sure a tox screen can be done in a couple of hours but sophisticated confirmatory testing takes time. DNA profiling can be done in a few hours, but before the ME reports his results he will often obtain confirmation from another lab, particularly in high-profile cases, including those that crime writers dream up. Give your ME a realistic timeframe to do his work. Your readers will notice if you don’t.

The devil is always in the details. Get these details right and your story will be much stronger.

D. P. Lyle

Outliers Writing University: https://www.outlierswritinguniversity.com

The Importance of Honest Feedback

By Judy Penz Sheluk

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Writing is a solitary pursuit, one where we spend countless hours of our lives, often laboring over a single sentence or paragraph for more time than most of us care to admit. So, it’s only natural that we become protective of our words. After all, something that took hours to perfect must be, well, perfect, right?

If only that were so. Unfortunately, as writers, we are simply too close to our work to see the flaws. Oh, we may find the typo on page 75 on reread, the one where we’ve called a car a cat (though even that is iffy), but the overuse of a favorite trope, phrase, or gesture (my characters love to nod). Maybe not so much. And that’s why we need feedback.

Feedback comes in many forms and at various stages of the writing process. The most important thing to remember is that you are looking for an honest and unbiased evaluation of your work. You may not agree with every comment or suggestion, but you should at least consider each one without becoming defensive. Consider it “thick skin” training for the rejections you’re almost certain to face going forward. 

Let’s look at some options:

Writing Critique Groups

While there are no hard and fast rules, these work best if the group is small—three to five people—allowing each member time to read and respond without becoming overwhelmed. It’s essential to establish parameters from the get-go, such as weekly word count limits and the type of feedback expected. 

While critique groups can be invaluable for some writers, they should never be the final step in the review process. As you become immersed in your work for months on end, you lose objectivity. Those intimately familiar with your work will too.

Alpha Readers

Readers who provide detailed and constructive feedback, both positive and tactfully critical, about your book’s premise, plot, characters, and other elements. This is the place to include readers who have knowledge of the technical elements in your manuscript. 

Whether you choose to hire a professional, or ask a trusted friend or relative, they should be aware that they are commenting on an unpolished (first) draft. They should also be avid readers of your book’s genre or sub-genre. Consider this the first test drive of your overall story from a reader’s perspective. 

Beta Readers

Beta readers (or betas) critique finished manuscripts before they are published. It’s advisable to have betas who are familiar with your genre/sub-genre. Betas can be friends, family members, teachers, members of online writing groups, or other writers willing to do a manuscript swap. This will help identify the finer points of your book that may need an adjustment. Ideally, you’ll have no fewer than two and no more than five, allowing for a comparison of opinions without the risk of opinion overload. If one beta reader doesn’t understand why your protagonist hates red, that might be a point worth clarifying. If two or more betas don’t get it, it’s a must-fix. 

While betas are an excellent way to obtain (often free) feedback, they do not replace the role of a professional editor. There is one school of thought that because traditional publishers pay for editing, there is no need for authors to incur this expense if their intention is to traditionally publish. 

Let’s look at that statement. Is it true that traditional publishers hire and pay for editing services? Yes. However, it’s equally true that agents and publishers receive thousands of submissions from aspiring authors every year. While there are no guarantees, a professionally edited manuscript may increase the odds of acceptance. 

Developmental Editing

Also known as substantive or content editing, developmental editing is the first step, focusing on big picture story elements. The developmental editor will also assess and shape draft material to improve flow and organization by revising or reordering content and clarifying plot, arc of action, characters, and/or thematic elements.

Line Editing

Also known as stylistic editing, the line editor focuses on coherence and flow, eliminating jargon, clichés, and euphemisms, while adjusting the length and structure of sentences and paragraphs, and establishing or maintaining the overall mood, style, or voice.

Copyediting

Ideally combined with line editing, the copy editor checks spelling, grammar, punctuation, and usage, and ensures consistency in character names, places, descriptions, and other details. Copy editing also covers fact checking and/or obtaining or listing permissions needed (e.g., use of song lyrics or trademarked products). The copy editor may create or work from a style sheet.

And there you have it, feedback in a nutshell. Now all you need to do is write that book. Hey, if it were easy, everyone would do it.

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About the author: A former journalist and magazine editor, Judy Penz Sheluk is the bestselling author of two mystery series: The Glass Dolphin Mysteries and Marketville Mysteries. Her short crime fiction appears in several collections, including the Superior Shores Anthologies, which she also edited.

Judy has also written two how-to guides to publishing. Finding Your Path to Publication: A Step-by-Step Guide was the Winner of the 2024 Killer Nashville Silver Falchion Award for Best Nonfiction. The follow-up to that book, Self-publishing: The Ins & Outs of Going Indie, provides an insider’s insight into the world of self-publishing. 

Judy is a member of Sisters in Crime, International Thriller Writers, the Short Mystery Fiction Society, and Crime Writers of Canada, where she served on the Board of Directors, most recently as Chair.

The Writer’s Playbook: Interview Your Characters

By Steven Harms

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To start, calculators down.

Now answer the following:
What is three times three?
Ten times seven?
Nine times two?
And, to finish this little exercise, what is eighty-five times forty-six? Take your time.

Hopefully you nailed the final answer. You may be asking what this has to do with being an author? Read on.

In the spring of 1985, I was two years into my first job at the Detroit Pistons. Around that same time, in my hometown of Milwaukee, Wisconsin something occurred that got my attention. The Milwaukee Bucks of the NBA had recently been purchased by Herb Kohl – I’ll get to him in a moment – and I felt the opportunity to return home was worth an inquiry. New ownership of a pro team generally comes with a slate of changes on the business side to align with a new owner’s vision and desire for how they want the place to operate. I wasn’t wrong. I sent a letter of inquiry to the president of business operations of the Milwaukee Bucks, not expecting a reply.

Two weeks later I received a call from John Steinmiller, introducing himself and asking that I come to Milwaukee for an interview. The role was a new position, and the person they were seeking would be responsible for building the sales team and crafting the external sales strategy.

I was flown in the following week and met with John. Our discussion went well, and I was excited to put it mildly. The opportunity would advance my career to the next level. As John wrapped our interview, he informed me that the new owner, Herb Kohl, would also like to meet with me one-on-one.

Who’s Herb Kohl? Perhaps you’ve shopped at Kohl’s. That was Herb’s family business, begun by his father in 1924. Kohl’s began as a grocery chain in the Milwaukee area before adding department stores beginning in 1962, eventually selling it all off in 1979. Herb Kohl purchased the Bucks in 1985 to prevent the team from exiting Milwaukee, in line with his community mindedness, which eventually led to him becoming a U.S. Senator, representing Wisconsin for twenty-four years. That’s the man I now sat across from in his spacious office at a top floor of Milwaukee’s tallest building.

The interview with him was straightforward – my background, schooling, sales experience with the Detroit Pistons, family, goals, and a few other traditional interview topics. Herb was a soft-spoken person, palpably gracious, and he made me comfortable as we chatted. Somewhere amid that interview, completely out of the blue, he asked me that final math question at the top of this article. Stone cold. No pivot. I can’t recall the exact digits, but you get the idea. To this day, I remember Herb said, “Take your time.” It was a jolt. I recall thinking that I was about to blow the interview and wouldn’t get the job. But I figured out quickly how to process the problem and answered it correctly. He then tossed me two more of similar nature. I passed all three. In the end, I landed the job.

My length of service with the Bucks lasted four years before I moved to New York City for my next opportunity. In hindsight, I wish I had taken a moment during my time with the Bucks to ask Herb why he threw those math problems at me. I’m convinced he did so to see how I process information and how I manage myself in a stressful situation. I just never asked. I think I know the answer, at least in part, which aligns with the task we have in creating our characters and developing them.  

Every good author understands that characters tell the author what to write, not the other way around. We’re responsible for bringing the people in our stories to life, intently listening to each, being thoughtful of their backstory, and abiding by who they are as a character. Their dialogue and actions drive the plot. How those are handled by an author is critical to maintaining a compelling, authentic story.

But what happens when a scene or chapter or subplot just won’t materialize, better known as writer’s block? All authors experience that moment, some less than others, but it’s unavoidable. It will happen, probably multiple times in the process of producing a manuscript. Successfully dealing with the problem opens the door to kickstart the interrupted creative process. There are many methods, but taking a cue from Herb Kohl, consider copying his technique.

Have a conversation with the characters on what they’re thinking. Throw them a wildly incongruent question of fact or importance that is unconnected to the story and see how they respond. If their answer misses the mark, that’s alright. Now you know. If they arrive at a plausible, reasonable answer, now you know that as well. If they hem and haw and sweat, tell them to take their time and only move on after they’ve answered. That’s also informative. You now perceive facets of them you hadn’t known, which may be a key ingredient in unblocking yourself and taking your story to a higher level.

Next time you’re at a Kohl’s, or drive by one, or see one of their advertisements, think back to this article and consider the “Kohl method” of interviewing a character(s) to handle current or future writing blocks. He or she may be able to figure out the “math question” you pose. Or maybe not. Either way their strengths, weaknesses, make-up, countenance, and other previously unrevealed attributes will come to the fore.

Just one rule, though. No calculators allowed.

The Art of Paragraphing

By Melissa Koslin

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I have read many, many books on writing craft, but I rarely see much about one of the most basic aspects of writing.

Paragraphing.

See what I did there? By making that one word its own paragraph, I called it out. Gave it more attention. Drew your eye to it.

As writers, our main job is to create a world in the reader’s mind, a world and people that seem real to us, so real that we will lose sleep to find out what happens to them. But there are other visual aspects to writing that are not in our imagination. Publishers put a lot of thought into the layout of the book—the font, how the beginning of a chapter is designed, the page headings, etc. And I think we all agree, these literal visual aspects are important. They make the book look and feel professional, and they stay out of the way—if they bring too much attention to themselves, they’ve been done wrong. Paragraphing is similar in that it’s not often noticed consciously by the reader. But it does have a subconscious affect.

Ever flip through a book, see huge blocks of text, and put it back on the shelf? Those books feel heavy, feel like they’ll be a slog to get through. Not exactly how writers want their fiction stories to be perceived.

Know why people are attracted to dialogue in books? Why it makes it feel like a faster pace? Part of that is due to paragraphing. Most conversation is a sentence or two, or even a single word, back and forth between two or more characters, and each time a different character talks, it’s a new paragraph. Of course, there are some books where it’s more of a soliloquy than a conversation—this is dialogue gone bad. No one wants to listen to a speech. Pretty much ever. 

You can accomplish this feeling of a faster pace without dialogue, if done properly. This is especially true in action scenes. I’m a suspense writer, with a focus on fight scenes, so I write a lot of action. Here’s an excerpt from my upcoming book The Lost Library. Notice how short the paragraphs are and how it creates a sense of quickened pace and intensity.

“I don’t think so.” She backed away, keeping her gaze on him and peripherally watching everything else around her.

He lunged and grabbed her bag.

Cali glared. “Back off.”

He yanked at her bag, but she had it slung across her body—exactly for this type of circumstance. As he yanked, he pulled her off balance, but she took a step and strengthened her stance, all while continuing to glare at him.

He raised a hand to slap her, but she blocked. Then she used both hands to shove him away.

A curse slurred from his lips.

He shifted, and she thought he was going to leave, but he came at her.

She blocked a punch and threw a kick at his groin. But she didn’t quite connect the kick—his legs were too close together.

As she was pulling her leg back to the ground, he swung his fist again. This time, it connected with her cheek.

Rage filled her like boiling water. She attacked with an elbow across his chin. And then the other elbow, and a kick to the groin. This time, her foot connected.

He stumbled back and fell.

She ran.

She felt guilty for not calling the police and pressing charges, making sure he didn’t try mugging someone else. But she couldn’t take the risk. Invisibility was her best defense.

However, paragraphing needs to be appropriate for the scene. Let’s say the characters are having a deep conversation. In these circumstances, longer paragraphs are often called for. Though we can’t let them get too long, or it starts to feel like boring blathering. What I like to do is throw in an occasional one-word paragraph, or maybe a short phrase. This draws attention and intensifies that one word. Even more so than in fight scenes because that one word is juxtaposed by longer paragraphs. Of course, we can’t randomly do this, so we need to keep an eye out for opportunities that feel organic, that intensify the emotion.

As writers, we have many tools at our disposal to make the reader see what we want them to see and feel what we want them to feel, and the best tools are the ones of which the reader isn’t even aware.

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Melissa Koslin is a fourth-degree black belt in and certified instructor of traditional Taekwondo. In her day job as a commercial property manager, she secretly notes personal quirks and funny situations, ready to tweak them into colorful additions for her books. She and Corey, her husband of twenty-five years, and their young daughter live in Yulee, Florida, where they do their best not to melt in the sun. Find more information on her books at MelissaKoslin.com.

From Claymore to Award-Winning Series

By R.G. Belsky

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My new mystery novel, Broadcast Blues, came out on January 2. It’s the sixth book in a series published by Oceanview about a woman TV journalist in New York City who solves murders. So how did I wind up writing this series—and, even more importantly, getting it published?  Well, that’s a long story. A long, long story.

It began years earlier when I first got the idea for writing a book about a journalist haunted by a big story from her past with long-buried secrets that she had never revealed. The book was then called Forget Me Not, and it featured a different lead character from Clare Carlson.

I spent a lot of time rewriting it in various forms with several different primary protagonists after that—but had no success in getting it published, no matter how many different approaches I tried. 

Fast forward to the 2016 Killer Nashville International Writers Conference. I had a new version of the book now that I had entered in the Claymore Award competition. What do I have to lose? I figured. 

So on an August evening in Nashville, I sat at the awards dinner and listened to all the names of finalists and runners-up being announced. When my name wasn’t called as a runner-up, I figured I’d just have to try again next year. But then Clay Stafford announced the winner of the 2016 Claymore Award: It was Forget Me Not by R.G. Belsky!

The rest of the evening was kind of a daze. I remember receiving the Claymore Award itself—a huge trophy that was almost too big to carry—an agent approaching me and asking if I wanted representation, and being asked the next day by the head of a panel I was on to bring the Claymore Award trophy with me to inspire others.

It was a memorable experience for me—an experience I hope many of you out there will have a chance to experience too. 

Things moved quickly after that. Oceanview Publishing bought my book and changed the name to Yesterday’s News, and it came out in 2018. They told me they liked my Clare character so much they wanted to publish more of her, so I have done a Clare Carlson book a year since then.

I’ve been fortunate to get a lot of awards and acclaim for the series. Yesterday’s News was named the Best Mystery of 2018 by Deadly Ink Mystery Conference. The follow-up book in the series, Below The Fold, won the Foreword INDIES Book of the Year Award Gold Winner for Mystery. And I’ve finished as a Silver Falchion Finalist at Killer Nashville with several of the Clare Carlson mystery novels. 

Would I have had all this success without winning the Claymore Award at Killer Nashville?

Maybe.

But the Claymore Award definitely was the turning point for me to turn out the Clare Carlson series as well as a number of other books since then.

Yes, the Claymore is a unique competition, unlike any I’ve ever seen from any other writing conference. It gives a beginning writer—or any writer—a chance to try out any idea for a book by submitting the first fifty pages and getting feedback from the judges. Not just in terms of being a finalist or even a winner in the contest, but also in comments/advice that can be requested by an applicant. 

I recommend entering the Claymore competition to any aspiring writer I meet who asks for advice.

“Hey, it worked for me,” I tell them.

So it can work for you too. . . 

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R.G. Belsky is an award-winning author of crime fiction and a journalist in New York City. Belsky has published 20 novels—all set in the New York city media world where he has had a long career as a top editor at the New York Post, New York Daily News, Star magazine and NBC News. He also writes thrillers under the name Dana Perry. And he is a contributing writer for The Big Thrill magazine.

Targeting Enemy Words

By James Glass

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Writers are notorious for their love of words. Because of this, we have a hard time targeting certain words as enemies. If you don’t take the time to dig deep in your manuscript, searching for enemy words, you risk weakening your story. This robs the reader of your full potential and they may decide to put your book down.

Watch out for empty words in your writing. The word ‘was’ is a sign of the dreaded passive voice, which places a distance between you and the reader. Sometimes ‘was’ is unavoidable, but use it often and the story becomes diluted and boring. Look for stronger verbs that impart real meaning.

Look for crutch words. These are the words writers fall back on when we can’t find a better way to express what’s going on. This often occurs when we dilute the force of what we’re trying to say, but the effect usually muddles the story.

Another commonly overused word is ‘very’, so watch out for it. To help you determine which words are your crutches, go back through the draft of the last thing you finished. Read through the pages with an eye for frequently used words, especially in the same paragraph. Make a list of the words you use often. Once you target them, these words will stand out. This doesn’t mean you can’t use them, but limit the amount of playing time they have in your story.

The most common enemy words are adverbs. Ninety percent of the time, they are unnecessary. The awful thing about most adverbs is you can cut them without changing the structure of your sentence.

Here’s one example. Jack nodded slightly. Talk about wishy-washy. Jack either nodded or he didn’t.

Here’s another. Cindy talked excitedly.

If you want us to see Cindy talk excitedly, add action, not adverbs. We tend to add adverbs thinking they will give extra impact, only to discover it’s weak writing. Comb your first drafts searching for adverbs to cut. Save the best ones for when you really need them, and they will have a bigger impact.

Here’s a list of 10 commonly overused words or phrases. Go back and see how you can delete them. If you can’t, figure a way to rewrite the sentence and make the story tighter. 

1. In order to

This is one of the flabbiest phrases I see in writing. People use it, but not one sentence stops working if ‘in order to’ is deleted. Replace with ‘to’, which has the same meaning. This one minor change will make the statement clearer.

2. Really

If you’re saying someone is ‘really’ tall, you’re missing the mark. How tall are they? Readers want you to show them, not tell them. With that in mind, swap this vague term for a more accurate descriptor. If you can’t be more descriptive, delete the word.

3. A lot

‘A lot’ is similar to ‘really’ in terms of vagueness. Saying something is ‘a lot’ different than it used to be robs your readers of an experience. While they understand something has changed, they don’t know what. Provide more specific information so the reader can make good decisions and connect with you on a deeper level.

4. Just

The only time ‘just’ has a place in your content is when you’re talking about something being ‘fair.’ For example, ‘The trial was just.’ Uses of ‘just’ to imply something small or inefficient (e.g., ‘She just couldn’t take the heat anymore.’) doesn’t add anything. In most cases, you can remove this word without affecting the sentence’s meaning.

5. That

‘That’ may seem like an inoffensive word, but it’s usually not necessary. For example, “These are the best pair of shoes that I’ve ever worn” could be changed to, “These are the best pair of shoes I’ve ever worn.”

6. Then

‘Then’ makes your writing stammer, which is the opposite of what you want. To smooth your text, remove the word whenever the sentence makes sense without it. And don’t start sentences with ‘then’ because it makes them clunky and difficult to read.

7. So

‘So’ is another word that doesn’t do much. Despite this, many people use it, particularly as a transition or explanatory word. Delete the word and, in most cases, your readers will thank you.

8. Got

‘Got’ is a lazy word because it doesn’t tell people much about how or why someone got something. Instead, use words that add power, such as ‘obtained’ and ‘earned.’

9. Often

‘Often’ teases readers by telling them something happens frequently without being clear. Replace ‘often’ with specific descriptions, such as ‘five times a week’ or ‘every year.’

10. Very

Perhaps the laziest descriptive word of all, ‘very’ can be deleted without taking away the intended meaning of what you’re trying to convey. Go back and replace the combination with a single, stronger adjective. For example, instead of saying ‘very beautiful,’ use ‘gorgeous.’ Replace ‘very intelligent,’ with ‘brilliant.’

When editing, circle or highlight all the empty words in red. Try rewriting those sentences with stronger verbs. This forces you to restructure the sentence making it sound more active.

Circle or highlight all the adverbs you find in yellow. Check how the sentences sound without them. If the meaning isn’t changed, cut them. Be sure to read aloud. By reading out loud, you hear the flow instead of relying on your writer’s voice alone.

When you finish, you will end up with a cleaner, more efficient prose. Something your readers and editors will both enjoy.

Happy writing.

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James Glass achieved the rank of Command Master Chief before retiring after 22 years in the United States Navy. After retiring from the Navy, he exchanged his rifle for a pen. He and his family moved back to Florida. James is also the president of the Panhandle Writers Group. He’s published five novels, one novella, and two (you solve the crime) chapter books.

Taking Inspiration Without Plagiarism

By Graham Smith

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One thing the vast majority of authors do is read. They read the classics, research tomes, novels from the best-seller lists, and ones from their own to-be-read piles. Authors choose every one of these reads for educational or entertainment value and hope they will be written in a style that engages their readers. It stands to reason that some of those words may try to subconsciously sneak into a manuscript. The author’s job is to spot when they do and either rewrite or remove them.

As a novelist, I take inspiration from a wide variety of sources, such as news stories, half-heard conversations, and because I’m a reader, I take inspiration from the novels I read. That inspiration could be from characters who are wonderfully entertaining, settings whose descriptions crackle with imagery, or a plot that’s both exciting and true to the characters.

What I never do is copy someone else’s idea, character, or phrasing. A few years ago, I set out to write a series set in the US. It was to feature a tough guy lead who was as likely to solve problems with his fists as his mind. I expect that you’re already thinking of such characters as Lee Child’s Jack Reacher, Matt Hilton’s Joe Hunter, Vince Flynn’s Mitch Rapp, and a whole host of others. That’s fine, there’s room for them all. In fact, I took the number of similar—but not the same—characters to be a good thing. It meant the sub-genre was popular enough to stand another.

When I came to create my character and story, I used my knowledge of the sub-genre to make sure I wasn’t re-writing someone else’s story or character. I was inspired by the aforementioned names, but as a fan of those authors, the last thing I wanted to do was rip them off or plagiarize them in any way.

Another instance of where I sought inspiration was the death of a character in a novel called Revenger by Tom Cain. This was the last book in the series and therefore I never got to find out the long-term impact of the character’s death. As a fan, this ate at me somewhat, and because I’d struck up a friendship with Tom, I asked for and received, permission to work a version of the character’s death into one of my character’s backstory, so I could as an author create my own version of how the character’s death affected their beloved.

Sometimes authors working in isolation from each other can come up with the same basic plot idea. This has happened to me, once directly and once indirectly. The direct version was uncovered from a conversation with a good writer friend. We’d chatted plot ideas, publishing gripes, and all the usual stuff us authors talk about when he mentioned that a mutual friend had told him about a novel he was planning. Because I’d already written at least half of a novel with a very similar plot, the mutual friend dropped his idea as he didn’t want to write something too similar to another novel that was likely to be published around the same time as his. The indirect version came from a brainstorming session with another writer friend and when he put an idea forward, it rang a bell with me. Ten seconds of searching online proved the plot idea had been used in a successful novel, and thus another idea was dropped.

The author Craig Russell is someone I count as a friend and a favored author. Such is his skill with language and narrative. I find myself learning about the craft of writing every time I read one of his novels. I have never hid the fact I consider his writing so good as to be educational, but there is no way I would ever ape his style, although I do consider him to be an inspiring influence.

The publishing industry is one that follows trends. Think back to Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code, and all the similar artefact hunting novels that sprung up around the time The Da Vinci Code had massive success. There was a boom in the sub-genre that lasted a couple of years until the rise of Scandi Crime and then came the psychological thrillers. The standouts in each of the trends were all original novels. They didn’t plagiarize any other piece of work, and while they were each unique, they all held the tropes a reader expected of their sub-genre.

In short, it’s okay to take inspiration from your peers, from whatever source you like. But don’t chase the latest trend, write a uniquely original novel of your own and set the next trend.

I know many authors who scour the news outlets hoping to get a usable idea. What you can’t do as an author is copy someone else’s work. Just like our school days, anyone caught copying the work of another will have consequences to face. Don’t do it. Be original, be unique, be inventive, and be prepared to ditch an idea you have because someone else has already done it.

Most of all, good luck with your writing.

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Graham Smith is a 50-year-old author who has published 18 books to date. He lives in Scotland and manages a busy hotel and wedding venue for his family.

Subplots Can Tighten Your Story’s Saggy Middle

By Martha Reed

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We’ve all experienced that feeling of keen anticipation and undiluted terror when starting a new story, staring at that initial blank page, and wondering how on earth we’re going to fill it.

We may start out with an amorphous idea of what our story might be about, select an intriguing cast of characters, and develop a plot outline before committing ourselves to the months or even the decades of willful intent and devoted effort it takes to write 85,000 words in the right order.

For me, beginnings are easy enough. In between drafting books, I keep an untidy stack of newspaper clippings and screen capture print outs bearing provocative headlines hoping to plant these magical little seeds in my subconscious and trigger an idea or two down the road. How will these suggestions connect in my new stories? I have no idea, but I do know that they will. It’s part of that writerly sorcery, the creative fiction necromancy I’ve learned to enjoy—and to rely upon—because it’s that wizardry that keeps both me as the writer and my readers entertained.

Endings aren’t difficult because it’s our job as writers to wrap up loose threads. If our characters have followed their true hearts, their heads, and the story’s logic trail, then it should lead them and us to an ending that at least makes sense. It’s our writerly duty to make sure we provide readers with a compelling ending that satisfies them as a reward for following our words. If correctly done, we will gift our readers with a story they’ll remember for the rest of their lives.

Once we hook readers with that dynamic beginning, how do we entice them through our story’s middle act, so they’ll reach that magnificent ending? The answer is by using subplots.

Subplots are the unsung mighty little engines that could. They’re the smaller sidebar stories that support our main overarching storyline, and when we weave in subplots, they can reveal character insights, increase dramatic momentum, raise the stakes, and present plot twists. While subplots are connected to the larger story, they run parallel to the main plot, sub-surface, and they should end before the larger story arc does—or at least be a part of the final wrap-up.

There are dozens of subplot ideas. Here are a few I’ve used:

• A character background subplot/flashback helps a reader understand why a character is behaving the way they do. Did your protagonist grow up abused and dirt poor? Were they a spoiled only child? What made them the way they are now?

• A love interest subplot makes the protagonist more vulnerable since they’ll be revealing their emotions and/or personal attachments. Use this subplot to engage reader empathy.

• A comedic subplot can change the story’s pace, give the reader room to breathe, and lighten the mood.

• A parallel subplot shows two different sides of the same story that will eventually converge—for better or for worse. This convergence adds tension and dramatic suspense, especially if the reader sees it coming.

• A foreshadowing subplot can be used to insert red herrings, key hints, and clues.

Here are some subplots I like to use:

• Suggest a minor or secondary character in act one, but don’t introduce them until act two. Have other characters offer dribs and drabs of that backstory to tease reader interest, suggest potential plot complications, and prefigure unforeseen obstacles.

• Give your secondary character a skill in act two that your protagonist will need to use in act three. This is particularly effective if there’s an ongoing misunderstanding or rivalry between them that must be overcome.

• Misunderstandings are great subplot devices. Emails and text messages are often misread and feelings get hurt, increasing the dramatic tension because of the conflict.

• Every character hides a secret uncertainty or fear, and no one likes to admit to a weakness. In act two, offer an earth-shattering reveal that causes extensive personal and relationship repercussions between your characters and triggers new and surprising plot twists.

The trick with subplots is to correctly use them. Weave them into your story and they will support your plot with elastic drama and tension like a trampoline. Use too many and you risk muddling your plotline, confusing your readers, and derailing your tale. Practice makes perfect and the trick, as they say, is in the telling. Don’t be afraid to try.

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Martha Reed is a multi-award-winning mystery and crime fiction author. “Love Power,” her new Crescent City NOLA Mystery featuring Gigi Pascoe, a transgender sleuth won a 2021 Killer Nashville Silver Falchion Best Attending Author Award as well as being a Silver Falchion Finalist in the Mystery category.

​Her John and Sarah Jarad Nantucket Mystery series garnered an Independent Publisher (IPPY) Book Award for Mid-Atlantic Best Regional Fiction. Her short story, “The Honor Thief” was selected for the 2021 Bouchercon anthology, This Time for Sure, edited by Hank Phillippi Ryan.

You’re invited to visit her website www.reedmenow.com for more detail.

Show Don’t Tell

By James Glass

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What Does “Show, Don’t Tell” Mean?

Good writing tends to draw an image in the reader’s mind instead of just telling the reader what to think or believe.

Here’s a sentence that tells:

Mr. Jeffries was a fat, ungrateful old man.

That gets the information across, but it’s boring. Most writers who tell tend to lose, rather than gain readers.  

Here’s a way to create an image of Mr. Jeffries in the reader’s mind:

Mr. Jeffries heaved himself out of the chair. As his feet spread under his apple-like frame, his arthritic knees popped and cracked in objection. Jeffries pounded the floor with his cane while cursing that dreadful girl who was late again with his coffee.

In the second example, I didn’t tell you Mr. Jeffries is fat. I showed you. I also didn’t tell you he was old, but showed you by mentioning his arthritic knees, his cane, and that he has a girl who tends to him. You probably guessed by now that he’s not a nice man. 

One of the most hideous examples of telling rather than showing is the “As you know, Mr. Jeffries,” dialog. This is when one character tells another something they both know. It’s almost as hideous when an author painstakingly uses dialog and action to convey something the characters all know.

However, like most rules of thumb, “Show don’t tell” is excellent advice most of the time, but writers can apply it too broadly, or in situations where it hurts more than it helps. You must be aware of the spirit, as well as the letter, of this particular law. New writers tend to lecture their readers. It’s never a good idea to bludgeon your readers with information. Or they may try to explain through dialogue. The key is to find the right mix between showing and telling. You don’t want to bore your reader. Pick up one of your favorite authors’ books and see how they capture your attention in the pages. Reading is one of the most effective leaning tools for a writer.  

If you find your writing feeling flat, take a step back and imagine the scene yourself. What sounds do you hear? What smells are in the air? What expression does your character have on his face? What are his motivations? Once you dig deeper into your own imagination, see if you can make your writing better by adding a few specifics. This will transport the readers to the scene you have in your mind.

So, let’s make today a good writing day. Whether one sentence, one paragraph or one chapter. It’s all progress. Make today a good writing day. 

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James Glass achieved the rank of Command Master Chief before retiring after 22 years in the United States Navy. After retiring from the Navy, he exchanged his rifle for a pen. He and his family moved back to Florida. James is also the president of the Panhandle Writers Group. He’s published five novels, one novella, and two (you solve the crime) chapter books.

Punctuation Is Power - Part 4: Finding your style: Free your mind and readers will follow

By Angela K. Durden

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Ernest Hemingway wrote a novel you may have heard of called The Old Man and the Sea. It is described as a brilliant short novel, but before editors got hold of it, it was neither brilliant nor short. In fact, it meandered here and there. What a mess. It took an editor to find the story and chop out the crap, after which Ernest could finish it to become the brilliant, short novel we all know and love. 

Part 3 of my series ended with the recommendation of getting an editor who was not in love with a particular style manual and forcing your story into a predetermined mold that may not fit. Hemingway was well served by just such editors. This column is about finding a style and training readers to it.

Many new writers, not having a technique or approach of their own, attempt to copy the writing style of an author they love. For writers endeavoring to learn the foundational elements of storytelling, pacing, power, scene setting, and so forth, there is nothing wrong with that. Like a musician practicing scales of chords and note patterns of famous works and then learning to vary those themes with his own flavor, a writer must can emulate the masters until that deeper understanding of interplay comes.  

Delve into your heart of hearts and answer this question: Why do you write?

For myself, that answer is: Because I can’t not. Words are my thing and have been since I began learning to talk. Semper fidelis—always in the service of words.

Still, the question can lead to a huge list of follow-ups we don’t have time to cover here. King Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 12:12: “To the making of many books there is no end, and much devotion to them is wearisome to the flesh.” And this is a business that demands attention and can weary a soul.

That being said, it is important to know your own reason. There are no right or wrong answers to the question. But if you find you are wanting to write in order to sell your work for a large, anonymous crowd of readers—that is, you want to sell it in the retail marketplace and be in the business of book sales you will want to bring the best version of your work to that arena and make it stand out from other books also vying for readers’ attentions. 

A book may feel like a baby, but it is a product. So, how can you find your own voice and train a reader to like it, understand it, want more of it?

Finding your own voice is a mysterious process. It cannot be taught, but it can happen. Training a reader is easy. Once you’ve found your voice, now you refine it on the page. Once you’ve got the story pretty close to finished, the hard work of checking the flow begins. 

Then and only then you will question the use of every punctuation mark you’ve put in. You may find a long, run-on sentence that is convoluted and meanders down paths no one can find, yet each part seems important. You must now decide if it needs to be broken up into fragments and whole sentences of varying lengths, or something else entirely. 

What I like to do is copy that one sentence (or graph) and paste it twice into a blank document. The first I will leave as my reference to the original. The second I then play with. Break here, here, and here? Comma there? Colon or semicolon? Then I paste the original sentence in for a third time and play again using both the original and the new edits as reference. Comparing how the meaning and pacing has changed, I change the order of the words, use a thesaurus, maybe work in some alliteration, and look for clichés and repetitions.

After about the third time of doing this, an Aha! moment may arise and you’ll see that maybe the original was perfectly fine, but that the problem was the graphs leading up to it. You rework those portions and bingo, bango, bungo, you got some words worth keeping. 

That’s just one method. However, at this time something seemingly magical will happen. You will begin to find your voice. Like the musician practicing his scales, chord progressions, and inversions, and thus seeing all the variety he can produce, you won’t be afraid of words any longer because the words will know you are treating them as equals and respecting the power they bring to your tale by punctuating with powerful effect and affect. 

Now, once you start punctuating to tell you story your way, make sure you follow that same style throughout the book, and guess what? By about the end of the second chapter, the reader will learn to follow along, simply and naturally enjoying the story.

Punctuation should never get in the way of a tale. Those marks are the workhorses that make the story look good, but they never take center stage away from the star, your story.

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Author, editor, publisher, and more: learn about Angela K. Durden here and here and here.

The Magnificent 7: Universal Story Plots and the Twelve Archetypes

By Martha Reed

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I was asked by a curious fan how I built my stories. Not where my story ideas came from, but about their actual construction, their underlying, underpinning architecture. Writers already know how to use the basic three-act structure, but are there other options in our writerly toolbox that we should be using to lure our readers in?

The answer is ‘yes.’ Human beings have certain story expectations bred into our bone marrow. Developed in pre-written history, seven universal plots and 12 archetypes have successfully survived into our modern era, crossing multiple cultural divides. That’s not to say writers should rigidly follow a static and unwavering formula or create stale and hackneyed characters. Those would instantly turn an avid reader off. But do the following inherited plots and archetypes still have something to offer?

First, let’s look at definitions:

• The basic story question is: “What happens next?”

• Plot happens next. It’s the sequence of events inside the story.

• An archetype is a story element like an idea, a symbol, pattern, emotion, character type, or event that occurs in all cultures. Archetypes represent something universal in the overall human experience. (I’ll share an example. The international movie, “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” used so many common archetypes that I found myself repeatedly wondering if I’d seen the movie before.)

In 2004, literary theorist Christopher Booker wrote “The Seven Basic Plots: Why We Tell Stories,” basing his premise on the following seven plots:

1. Overcoming the monster – An evil force is threatening the hero/heroine and their world. The h/h must slay the monster to receive a great reward.

2. Rags to riches – The h/h is insignificant and overlooked by others. Because of a trigger event, they are revealed to be exceptional.

3. The quest – The h/h sets out on a long, hazardous quest, overcoming all obstacles until they reach their goal.

4. Voyage and return – The h/h travels outside of their comfortable world into the unknown before returning to the safety of their home.

5. Comedy – A series of trigger events involving mistaken identity or a fundamental misunderstanding that results in hilarious chaos.

6. Tragedy – A story without a happy ending that ends in loss or death.

7. Rebirth – The h/h falls under a dark form of control before breaking free and being redeemed. 

Regarding archetypes, psychologist Carl Jung theorized that we use such symbolism to grasp complex concepts more easily. He stated: “There are forms or images of a collective nature which occur practically all over the earth as constituents of myths and at the same time, as individual products of the unconscious.” Jung maintained that these archetypes remained unchanged and recognizable and that they exhibit personality traits that are commonly understood.

The 12 archetypes are:

1. The Innocent – Seeks to do things the right way in harmony, free of corruption or influence.

2. Everyman – Seeks connections and belonging. Supportive, faithful, and down-to-earth.

3. Hero – On a mission to make the world a better place.

4. Outlaw – Questions authority and breaks the rules.

5. Explorer – Inspired by travel, adventure, and risk.

6. Creator – Imaginative and inventive, driven to create things with real meaning.

7. Ruler – Creates order from chaos. Typically controlling and stern, yet responsible and organized. 

8. Magician – Makes dreams a reality.

9. Lover – Inspires intimate moments with love, passion, romance, and commitment.

10. Caregiver – Protects and nurtures others.

11. Jester – Uses humor, irreverence, mischief, and fun to bring joy to the world.

12. Sage – Thoughtful mentor or advisor bringing wisdom and deeper insight.

Taking this information, try these exercises to tighten your creative focus:

• Name a book or movie that uses each one of the seven plots.

• Name a character from a book or a movie that fits each of the 12 archetypes.

• Using your current work in progress, which of the seven plots fits your story? If you discover some overlap, which plot is stronger? What happens to your storyline when you focus only on that one?

• Identify an archetype for each one of your characters. Next step: which archetype do they think they are? Do the two choices match? What happens to your focus and your character’s motivations when they do?

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Martha Reed is the IPPY Book Award-winning author of the John and Sarah Jarad Nantucket Mysteries and of “Love Power,” her latest mystery set in the spellbinding city of New Orleans featuring Gigi Pascoe, a transgender sleuth. 

She’s an active member of the Florida Gulf Coast and Guppy chapters of Sisters in Crime, a member of Mystery Writers of America, and in a moment of great personal folly she joined the New Orleans Bourbon Society (N.O.B.S.)

Her stories and articles have appeared in Pearl, Suspense Magazine, Spinetingler, Mystery Readers Journal, Mysterical-e, and in “Lucky Charms – 12 Crime Tales,” an anthology produced by the Mary Roberts Rinehart Pittsburgh chapter of Sisters in Crime. Her story, “The Honor Thief” was included in the 2021 Bouchercon anthology, “This Time For Sure,” edited by Hank Phillippi-Ryan.

Martha adores travel, big jewelry, California wine country, and simply great coffee. She delights in the ongoing antics of her family, fans, and friends who she lovingly calls The Mutinous Crew. You’re invited to follow her on Facebook and Twitter @ReedMartha.